I can not believe that my sweet baby girl is 7 weeks old!! Wow how time flies!! Before I tell you her birth story, you have to understand the "whole" story!! If you have been following my blog a while you know that I have been through a lot to get this precious gift from God!! I have suffered 4 consecutive miscarriages in the last 5 years, which have been so hard for me and my family.
I had my first child when I was 15, but before you judge, understand it is not what you may think. I met my husband when I was 13 and he was 14. I knew I was going to marry him!! We met at church and were both Christians, but were also very hormonal teenagers(exactly why we are going the courting route with our children). When Hannah was born, it was a joyous occasion, but it was soooo hard being a teenage parent. But my husband and I were determined not to be a statistic!! We waited to get married and not get married just because we had a baby. I was in 9th grade when Hannah was born, but had high expectations for myself to graduate High School. My husband was in 11th grade. We both graduated high school with honors. Two weeks before I graduated, we got married:) Ten months later, when I was 19 and Hannah was 3 years 11 months, we welcomed our sweet little boy, Bryson!! I didn't use birth control, and got pregnant again when Bryson was 13 months old, so he was 22 months old when Haley Grace was born. By this time I was 21 and my husband was 22. He was overwhelmed with the responsibility of supporting a family of 5. Even though, I did not want to, but with respect for my husband, and pressures from other family members, I made one of the worst decisions of my life and got the mirena iud . I kept feeling like I had made a mistake and wanted to have it removed, I felt guilty that I had gotten it, but then I felt guilty that I also wanted another baby!! I prayed about what to do but could not convince my husband to let me remove it. I just put it in God's hands and started researching!! That is when I found out about the quiverfull movement!! That changed my life and I started to pray harder. Then one day while watching tv, I came across this show called "14 children and pregnant again". That is when I fell in love with the Duggars and knew then I had nothing to feel guilty about. God put this instinct in me to want to have children because they are a blessing and a gift from him. I was still praying, and God would work it out:)
When Haley was 18 months old, I suddenly just felt pregnant, so I took a test and it was positive. I was so excited, that I didn't deceive my husband, but God had answered my prayer!! But then the unthinkable happened, I started to bleed, so I went to the er and they did an ultrasound. They told me it was too early to see anything, but to follow up with my doctor on Monday(it was a Sat night). I was still bleeding, so the doctor got me in first thing that morning. She did an ultrasound and saw immediately it was a tubal pregnancy, but the iud wasn't even in the right spot!! I was devastated and begged her to try to save my fallopian tube. She did!! But 3 weeks later I got pregnant again and a few days later I started to get sick. I thought I had the flu, but worse, I kept passing out when I stood up. I knew something was wrong but no one would believe me. It was the day before Thanksgiving and my husband could not get off work. So I called my grandmother to come help me with the kids because they were all so little then. I told her I wanted to call 911, because I really felt like I was dying. So when the paramedics came, they said I had the flu, and they could take me to the er but really there was no point. So they left. Then my cousin came, and I told her I needed to go to the hospital because I was dying(and I really was). When I got there and they took me in the triage, they knew something was wrong because my blood pressure was going up and down and wasn't normal. They took me back immediately and internally examined me and they literally started losing me. I felt like I was leaving my body and was in the worst pain of my life!!! They did an ultrasound and my fallopian tube had ruptured and I was bleeding to death internally!! They took me back for emergency surgery and removed my tube:(
After that my body went crazy. I got pregnant 6 months later but it ended in a very early miscarriage(5 weeks). I then gained 50 pounds and had irregular cycles. Everyone around me got pregnant(I got 4 nephews in one year)!! I had a hard time coping with that, but trusted in God!! At that point my husband was still not quiverfull minded, but did not force me to use any kind of birth control.
Then on November 10, 2008 I finally got a positive pregnancy test!! I was sooo excited. Then at 6 weeks I saw my little peanut had a heartbeat!! But at 16 weeks pregnant, the worst happened and I lost my precious little girl Haven(you can read about that here)
At that point, I didn't know if I would ever have another baby or not, honestly I gave up, but still trusted in Jesus!!!
On October 14, 2010, I had a really rough day. Everyone around me was getting pregnant again, Both my sister and sister-in-law were pregnant, and I was just so upset that I still did not have a baby(but happy for them). Then I thought to myself I am just going to take a pregnancy test just for the fun of it, and I just like taking them, lol.(I keep the dollar store ones on hand). I about passed out when a very faint line showed up. So I went to the store and got another one. It was also positive. I wasn't convinced yet, so I got the digital one and it said.......YES!!! The pregnancy went very well and I had lots of ultrasounds to see my precious little girl.
Around 36 weeks I had a ton of contractions and was already dilated a 2. They would come and would be consistent and then just stop!! After 3 weeks of this, I really couldn't take it anymore. So even though I had planned a natural birth at the birthing center, I was just over it and ready to meet my little girl. So I opted to be induced at 39 weeks and 3 days. I was still planning on not having an epidural, since my labors tend to go fast. But the night before I couldn't sleep and really just wanted to enjoy this labor(I had my other 3 natural, except Hannah I had an epidural, but it didn't work, so I still felt everything). I prayed about it.
WHAT A BIG BELLY!!
So when I got to the hospital at 6 and they asked me if I wanted an epidural I said yes. They hooked me up and I had been having contractions all night, so I believe I was already in labor, because I was dilated a "good" 3-4. I got the epidural before they started anything, because of my fast labor history. It was quit painful, but let me tell you, I felt nothing!!! Then the dr was going to do a c-section on another patient but decided to wait, because the nurse said I was an 8. When he checked me he said the baby was "sunny side up", hence the constant labor pains with no results. So he turned her manually(#1 reason I am glad I got the epidural, #2 there was meconium in the fluid, and I do not believe I could have stopped pushing for them to suction her out. #3 the cord was around her neck, so I had to stop pushing for them to loosen that as well). After he turned her, I started pushing and she was out in 2 pushes(from the epidural until she was born only took 2 1/2 hours). Lydia Hope Anne had made her debut, and it was a day well worth the wait:)
I KNOW MY FACE LOOKS WEIRD, BUT I WAS CRYING SO HARD!!!
HER DADDY ADORES HER ALREADY
SHE WAS 6 LBS 7 OZS 19 1/2 INCHES LONG
HER BIG SISTER ADORES HER
LYDIA WITH HER COUSIN ELLIANA WHO IS 6 WEEKS OLDER
Sorry to be so lengthy, but you had to hear the whole story to understand what this child means to me(not that I love her anymore), but I appreciate and am thankful for the little things. So many times with the other children, I took things for granted, but now I cherish every moment with ALL of them, but especially Lydia, because I don't know if God will give us anymore or not. As far as my husband is concerned, I don't know that he is quiverfull minded yet or not. He does want more children or maybe it is because we are older now, but he is definitely different and more patient this time!! We love these precious gifts from God and could not be more happier!!!