Trying to get through!!!

The past week and a half has been so hard. Friday my surgery went okay, but they did put me to sleep. I did not get to see the baby because they basically just sucked it out of me like it was not a human being. That really bothered me, but the doctor insisted it was the safest way for me. I cry myself to sleep almost every night and a lot through out the day. This is so hard. I go back to the doctor March 20 and they will tell me the results of the chromosomal test and I thing they are doing genetic test too so we will know the sex and can give our baby a name. My husband has been so sweet and has helped me so much. Yesterday my milk came down. They told me this wouldn't happen, but considering I was almost 5 months, it did anyways. I have always breastfed, so I am not used to this. I know God has a plan even though I am having a hard time understanding why this happened. Please pray for me, I really need all the prayers I can get.

Sad News!!!!

I know it has been a while since I last updated, but I do not have good news. I was at Wal-mart Saturday with Hannah. As I was in the checkout lane I started to feel really dizzy. I told Hannah she needed to call her daddy because I did not believe I could drive home. As I told her that I passed out. I do not know how long I was unconscious but it wasn't long. My husband came and the ambulance came everything seemed to be okay but they still sent me to the hospital. They went ahead and sent me to maternity since I was almost 17 weeks pregnant. They could not get a heartbeat so they sent me for an ultrasound and still no heartbeat and the baby was only measuring 15 weeks. They gave me no hope, but sent me home since my midwives were not associated with that hospital and told be to go Monday to my midwives. I called this morning and they told me to come on in and 30 minutes called me back and sent me to a specialist for another ultrasound. I was hoping for a miracle and my entire church family and family were praying for one too. Unfortunately the baby is dead and has been for several weeks. My heart is broke. I thought for sure this time everything would be okay especially since I made it past the first trimester. I would rather not have a miscarriage, but I sure do not want one now. I will be awake for the procedure and I hope that they will let me see my baby and tell me what it is. I am more heartbroken for my children for they prayed for me to get pregnant and 2 weeks later I found out I was pregnant. They have cried as much as I have. Please keep us in your prayers through this hard time!!!!!!!